Can the Huskies make it any harder on themselves by playing a night game at LSU in early September? The pressure has Steve Sarkisian turning into ex-Cougars coach Mike Price.
The Huskies are attempting a hard thing. In degree of difficulty, beating the Louisiana State University of Football in Baton Rouge on a Saturday night in September is second only to drinking an ocean.
LSU isn’t just a football factory. It’s a whole military-industrial complex, with beer.
The latest AP poll of global GNP rankings this week has the LSU athletic department overtaking Turkey at No. 17, one spot behind the Netherlands. But not to worry about this burgeoning powerhouse — vice chancellor (that’s really his title) of athletics Joe Alieva, in a recent speech before the United Nations general assembly, promised never to be the first to use nuclear weapons.
He did, however, call for an end to North Korea. The Dear Leaders are booked for a game at LSU in early October, and LSU is 125-point favorite.
What Washington is doing scheduling LSU isn’t entirely clear. The Huskies are just getting over the last trip to Baton Rouge in 1984, a 40-14 whipping in front of the then-largest crowd in LSU history (82,390). They have haven’t been back to the Southeastern Conference in the subsequent 29 years, and after Saturday, figure to return not much sooner than when Puget Sound’s tides lap against the Space Needle’s observation deck.
The situation for Washington is so dire that coach Steve Sarkisian this week went the full Mike Price. The former Washington State coach didn’t invent the corny inspirational stunt, but he certainly refined it, once appearing in duck-hunter garb prior to a game against Oregon. For a game against the Trojans, he had a rider upon a white horse enter practice while blaring the world’s most annoying sports-music riff, “Conquest.”
Didn’t work either time, but each pinned the needle on the dork-o-meter.
Sarkisian imported a tiger into practice this week, attempting to lessen the shock value of the players’ first encounter Saturday with LSU’s live mascot. What Sarkisian didn’t explain to his players was that, unlike him, the LSU folks don’t bother with a cage.
Sarkisian should have been teaching his players to say, “Who’s a pretty kitty?” in a drawl.
But in the spirit of helpfulness, here’s a few other things the Huskies should know about regarding their trip down college football’s rabbit hole: