BY Deidre Silva 06:50AM 07/25/2011

Crystal Balls: Predictions for the week

Last week, Seattle shouldered its burden of being a long-suffering sports town. Sounders get embarrassed by Man U, M’s set record for consecutive losses. The good news? Clouds lose to sun. Let’s go kayaking.

Kasey Keller Sounders 2009

A peripatetic Kasey Keller misses out on the action at Wednesday's MLS All-Star game./ Sportspress Northwest file

MLB:  Mariners v. themselves:  All week, all season (ROOT, if you dare)
PREDICTION:
Marketing department plans Shawn Kemp bobblehead night.
The Friday promotion to honor the Sonics legacy backfires when fans begin chanting “Shawn, Shawn, Shawn,” with the Mariners down 7-1 in the sixth inning against the Rays. Instead of Kemp, Mariners mistakenly insert Chone Figgins, who incites a bench-clearing brawl purely for catharsis. Brendan Ryan’s contribution to the cause is a Bizarro World approach: he keeps his porn-star mustache.

MLS: Sounders at Houston, 6:30 p.m. Saturday (KONG)
PREDICTION:
Keller sidelined in All-Star Game; left seething, unscathed.
Contrary to reports, Sounders keeper Kasey Keller’s circuitous Seattle/Panama/New York/Houston itinerary this week was not the result of a Southwest Airlines standard routing. It was the All-Star’s intentional choice at redemption against a Manchester United team that will face the best of the MLS in Wednesday’s All-Star game outside New York City. The Red Devils do not hold back, returning to England with a 5-1 win and worldwide bragging rights intact.

WNBA:  Seattle Storm at Phoenix Tuesday, Minnesota Friday and Tulsa Saturday
PREDICTION:
Storm drop below .500 by weekend
Unlike last year, when the WNBA championship trophy seemed destined for Seattle during much of the 2010 regular season, this year’s crown could go anywhere but Seattle. Even last week’s All-Star MVP, Swin Cash can’t save this week’s brutal road trip. Seattle loses to the Western Conference leaders (Phoenix and Minnesota) before battering bottom-feeder Tulsa (1-14), 87-81.


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