BY Seth Kolloen 06:38AM 08/30/2010

Jake Locker’s Sordid Past, Storm Surge, Sounders Cat-Fight

In the rush-hour morning of Seattle sports media, this is the place where you must pull off for Seth Kolloen’s tilted understanding of what’s going on

Jake Locker reveals his secret criminal past [Seattle Times profile]
As a 14-year-old, Locker would start up his Dad’s van and “drive up and down the street because I thought it was fun.” Lawbreaker! Delinquent! Cancel the Heisman campaign, folks. Is this the kind of role model we want for our nation’s youth?

Storm beat L.A., move to conference finals [Game 2 highlights]
The Storm crushed Los Angeles behind a barrage of three-pointers. The playoff series win was the Storm’s first since their ’04 title run. The ladies celebrated with lunch at L.A. classic Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles. Next game: Game 1 of the best-of-three conference finals vs. Phoenix, Thursday @ KeyArena.

Fredy>Freddie [Highlights]
For the game-winning, stoppage time goal, Nathan Sturgis sent a gorgeous left-footed cross to the back post, where Montero was “loitering with intent at the back post,” in Arlo White’s words. Fredy headed it in. Sturgis is now being called “Sturginho” by teammates.¬† Sounders 32 pts., 4th place (2nd in 4-team wild card qualification). Next game Wednesday, U.S. Open Cup Semi vs. Chivas USA @ Starfire.

Seahawks: Defense looks good, offense needs work [Highlights]
The D held Favre, Peterson & Co. to just 10 first-half points. The consistent QB pressure was a great sign. Less encouraging: The running game is still M.I.A. Just 44 rushing yards, with a long of … 6. Eek! Back to the D; if you haven’t seen Earl Thomas’ pick six, check it out. Dude can run. My favorite part is where he races past Favre, who looks like he’s stuck in molasses. Brett Favre couldn’t bring down Earl Thomas in the open field if he had a baseball bat. Next game Thursday @ Oakland (preseason, obvi.)

What They’re Saying

“I’m hearing crap that there was something between me and Freddie and that’s why (Ljungberg was traded). I mean, give me a break. … People are trying to make a lot more out of it than it really is or it ever was.” — Kasey Keller [Seattle P-I] (Here’s a photo of Keller and Ljungberg cordially shaking hands after the game.)

“Lost my voice at the Sounders match. Fun times.” [@MacAree]

“I’m not pleased with it at all. It’s just not happening the way we want it to.” — Pete Carroll on the Seahawks’ running game [TNT]

“Good Lord, I literally can’t give away 2 #Mariners tickets. They’re not worth the paper they’re printed on.” [@wbboyd]

In other news…

Kasen Williams signed with UW. Puttin’ up a fence!

The Mariners lost two of three to Minnesota, avoiding a sweep with a 2-1 win on Sunday. Leaving Safeco, I saw that some Twins fans had trashed their brooms. Ha ha!

The Seattle Summer Pro-Am, which went woefully undercovered by local media, finished up on Sunday with a team led by Rodney Stuckey, Donald Watts and Jamaal Williams¬† defeating a team with Nate Robinson and Terrence Williams in the final. All info from TCC coach R-Jay Barsh’s Twitter. Definitely should’ve gone to this instead of the Mariner game.

Bernhard Langer won the Boeing Classic at TPC Snoqualmie (29 days after winning the U.S. Senior Open at Sahalee), and Oklahoma State’s Peter Uihlein won the U.S. Amateur at Chambers Bay.

Sigi Schmid and Freddie Ljungberg apparently took some veiled shots at each other after Saturday’s game. Verbal shots, that is.

The Huskies simulated a road game at VMAC, including staying in hotel rooms the night before. Recession? Not in college football.

A good analysis of the Seahawks roster situation by the P-I’s Greg Johns. Rosters must be cut to 75 by 1 p.m. PT Tuesday, and to 53 by Saturday.

Mansfield Wrotto, emergency starter at left tackle with Okung out, kept Jared Allen off Hasselbeck’s back. Hey, if he can block Jared Allen…

Meanwhile, Okung tweets he spent Sunday at Kirkland’s City Church. Prayer never worked for Shaun Alexander’s injuries, but maybe Okung will have better luck.

Jon Brockman tweets that Spencer Hawes is considering wearing #12 “to represent when the republicans take back the white house in 2012.”

Tanisha Wright made the WNBA All-Defense 1st team, Lauren Jackson made the 2nd team. Have a feeling it’s not the last post-season honor for Jackson.

Michael Saunders will return from his shoulder injury today against the Angels.

Brandon Morrow had another nice start for the Jays on Saturday. Since May 31, Morrow is 7-2 with a 2.99 ERA. The Jays are shutting Morrow down for the season after his next start–nothing’s wrong, they’re just managing his workload.

The Mariners are shutting down top prospect Michael Pineda for the season, so M’s fans won’t get to see him in the Tacoma playoff series at Safeco.

A 13-year-old motorcycle racer from Vancouver, Peter Lenz, died at Indianapolis Motor Speedway when he crashed on a warm-up lap and was hit by another rider.

Today’s action…

Brazil vs. USA, FIBA World Championships, 11:30 a.m. (ESPN)

Mariners vs. Angels @ Safeco, 7:10 p.m. (FSN)


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