BY Deidre Silva 07:00AM 05/16/2011

Crystal Balls: Predictions for the week

Keep a close eye on your folding chairs, everyone, World Wrestling Entertainment is coming to town. Here’s what to look out for this week, aside from fake blood and breakaway props.

Yell all you want, Sounders fans -- the laying of hands upon the lame is what's needed. / Drew Sellers,, Sportspress Northwest

The past? So yesterday. Sportspress Northwest continues with a weekly feature, Crystal Balls, by Deidre Silva. It’s a look into this week that the Amazing Kreskin would envy.

Last week I thought that my Boston Celtics would still be playing. Now I have to focus my allegiance on the Bruins (and, sigh, the Red Sox). And, as long as there’s a microphone, there’s Ochocinco.

Sporting Kansas City at Sounders FC, 7 p.m. Saturday
Prediction: Kansas City wins with a score in injury time.
The Eastern Conference’s last-place team hasn’t won a match since the first of the season and is coming off a rough loss Saturday against the LA Galaxy. So, KC has much to redeem, including allowing Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad “Zelig” Ochocinco to have a tryout with the team last March. And the Sounders were down five top players against Portland, at least four of whom are unlikely to be back. So much pain, so few victories.

Mariners vs. Nature, then at San Diego Padres Friday, Saturday, Sunday
Prediction: Safeco’s roof conveniently jams for this week’s home games (Monday and Tuesday against Minnesota, Wednesday and Thursday against the Los Angeles Angels/Pirates of the Caribbean). All four are rained out. Counting the two rain-outs in Cleveland, the Mariners’ six games of non-losses equals the preceding streak of six defeats in a row, a major league first.

Fortunately, the Mariners for the weekend draw the best weather city in America, beginning interleague play in San Diego. The chance of sunny skies and dreary baseball are both 100 percent. Both are at the bottom of their leagues in offense, and are mediocre fielders. But someone’s gotta win. Seattle takes the rubber match Sunday, 4-2.

World Wrestling Entertainment “Over the Limit” Key Arena, 5 p.m. Sunday.
Prediction: The Miz loses his smirking swagger and the title bout; ringside reporter incredulous that his laptop is smashed upon the head of someone named CM Punk.
The headliner between WWE champion John Cena and The Miz has no breaks, no rules and a referee whose sole apparent purpose is to provide the microphone when one of the entertainers is battered into submission and forced to gurgle, “I Quit.” Cena’s explosive beat-down will move him up to No. 1 in the Academy of Wrestling Arts and Sciences ranking.

Stanley Cup Playoffs
Prediction: Bruins push series against Tampa Bay into next week.
Tampa Bay extends its winning streak to nine games before facing again the disagreeable Boston crowd and enduring a two-game smackdown. Ochocinco fills in for injured Bruin Patrice Bergeron in the Game 2 matchup, face-planting on the ice in less time than it took Deja Blu to buck him last weekend in the bull-ride portion of his decaying career.

Preakness Stakes at Pimlico, post time 6:19 p.m. EST, Saturday
Prediction: Animal Kingdom sets stage for Triple Crown bid.
To insiders, the Kentucky Derby winner’s 20-1 win at Churchill Downs was no fluke. In Baltimore on Saturday, Maryland product Animal Kingdom gets bumped out of the gate but catches No. 4 Derby finisher Shackleford in the stretch and sets up the fifth Triple Crown attempt in the last 10 years.  C’mon, I’m a Maryland girl, how could I resist?


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