“Danny Farquhar allowed four runs, three earned,
in the ninth inning as the Houston Astros rallied to beat the Mariners
6-4 in front of 9,808, the smallest crowd in Safeco Field history.”

Tell me again how the M’s are averaging higher attendance than last year. Then put down the crack pipe, step away from the pot dispensary, push the plate of brownies aside and make me believe it.

Didn’t I say all last off-season that they were just pushing in the fences to try to make games more exciting in order to draw the fans back in? And that the M’s would be losing games 13-10 and 9-8 instead of 1-0 and such, but that they would still lose 90 games? And that the Safeco lovers would probably return because at least the home runs would be flying outta the stadium, and everyone loves the long-ball? Well, mission accomplished on the M’s part. Except for that they did manage to still lose games 1-0 when Felix pitched, which is just perfect.

I must admit, though, that the fans have impressed me with their ability to see through the smoke and mirrors. It should be clear to all by now that the organization is at its lowest point. At least when I was growing up and watching baseball this awful, we KNEW there was no hope. There was never any real hope until Griffey arrived and starting knocking dingers over that shallow-yet-tall right field fence in the Homer Do… Err… King Dome. But see, now we’ve tasted victory, the playoffs, winning seasons led by superstar players. Sure, anyone under 10 years old is probably growing up with the same Mariners experience as I did: That of having no hope whatsoever. But the rest of us…

The rest of us are just too smart for Chuckles and Howie any more. We’ve seen teams who have been around for decades less than us win the World Series. We’ve seen team after team go from the crap pile to the playoffs. But not us! I personally haven’t seen reason for hope since the trade deadline of 2001 passed. I’ve been a naysayer since then, and it boggles my mind how its not absolute consensus that the mere presence of Howie and Chuckles is in itself a curse of perpetual doom. I’ve been saying it for a dozen years now, and nothing has proven me wrong, in the slightest.

Thru GM after GM, Manager after Manager, position coach after position coach, trade after trade, bad signing after bad signing, there are but two constants. Two people have overseen, meddled in, and ultimately approved of every personnel decision made by the people that they hired to make those decisions. Nothing is ever going to change until they are gone. So, please… Whoever out there is at the heart of the rumors about ownership and upper management changes… Please, please, please give us hope. Save us from the two buffoons who hold this franchise hostage, who remain above all accountability, and who keep this team in a constant state of embarrassingly horrible.

I think it would be so cool to watch even moderately competitive major league baseball, and I think Howie and Chuckles are just total jerks for failing so hard, so continually, and refusing to step aside. Its not like anyone above them is going to remove them from their positions. They just seem to act soooo entitled, like its their purpose, and theirs alone, to be stewards of the Mariners. Nobody will ever say that they do not deserve credit for the M’s being in Seattle. On the other hand, nobody will ever say they knew anything about how to run a winning baseball franchise either.