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A week ago, the stage was set for the greatest act in Seahawks history. Here’s the script for how it didn’t go to script in Glendale, AZ.
Russell Wilson aims the fateful pass to. . . Malcolm Butler (21). / Drew McKenzie, Sportspress Northwest
The Seahawks appear poised to pull victory from the jaws of defeat for the second consecutive game. After falling behind 28-24 to New England in the Super Bowl, they have the ball at the five-yard line courtesy of a circus catch by WR Jermaine Kearse. We join the team after a time out as QB Russell Wilson jogs into the huddle after talking with the coaching staff on the sidelines.
Russell Wilson: “OK, fellas. Coach has the play for us. Now, remember, dreams . . .
dreams don’t come true. Dreams are MADE true. There’s no this, no that, no the
other. The preparation is in the separation . . . it’s not the –”
Max Unger: “Russell. RUSSELL!”
Wilson: “Yeah?”
Unger: “The play. What’s the play, man?”
Wilson: “Yeah. Right. Power dive to Beast.”
O Line: “Yay!”
Marshawn Lynch: “I’m all ’bout that action, boss.”
Doug Baldwin: “WHAT? GIVE IT TO BEAST MODE?? WHY? I’M ELITE! I’M
NOT PEDESTRIAN! THEY SHOULD GIVE IT TO ME! I POOPED IN THE END
ZONE!”
Wilson: “Hut!”
Lynch gains four yards to the one. Second down, just under a minute to play. The Seahawks are inches away from a second consecutive Super Bowl win.
Unger: “Good job, Beast. Lemme shake your hand.”
Lynch: “One more play. boss. ‘Bout that action.”
Baldwin: “IS THAT PETER KING OVER THERE? HE THINKS I’M
PEDESTRIAN! HE DOESN’T THINK I’M ELITE! I POOPED IN THE END ZONE!
HEY, KING! I’M ELITE!”
O Line: “Beast! Beast! Beast! Beast!”
Lynch: “Stop freakin’! Call Beacon!”
Ricardo Lockette: “Why am I even in the huddle?”
Baldwin: “HEY! JOHN CLAYTON! TELL PETER KING I’M ELITE! I
POOPED IN THE END ZONE! YOU EVER SEE JERRY RICE POOP IN THE END
ZONE? I DON’T THINK SO!”
Wilson: “OK guys, settle down. God is talking to me again in my helmet.”
Unger: “Russell . . . we’ve been over this. That’s not God in your helmet.
It’s Coach Bevell.”
Wilson: “OK, fellas. Bunch right, slant pass to the Rocket.”
Unger: “What?”
Lynch: “What?”
O Line: “What?”
Lockette: “What?”
Baldwin: “WHAT?”
Wilson: “You heard me. Slant to Ricardo. BREAK!”
Seahawks break the huddle. Inexplicably, before the biggest play of the year, Baldwin and Lynch line up on the wrong side of the formation. Lynch notices and begins gesturing to Wilson.
Lynch: “Psst! Russell!”
Wilson: “Is that you, God?”
Lynch: “No, man. It’s Beast. Me and Doug ‘sposed to be on the left.”
Wilson: “Oh, yeah. Get over there. Hey Doug! Motion to the other
side.”
Baldwin: “WAIT. ARE YOU TELLING ME WHAT TO DO? I KNOW
WHAT TO DO! I’M AN ELITE RECEIVER!”
Baldwin jogs past Wilson.
Baldwin: “I POOPED IN THE END ZONE!”
Malcolm Butler: “Hey . . . wait a second. THIS is the formation Coach B
told me about. When he was screaming at me and telling me I’d better not let them
score on this play or he’d slice my arm off. These guys are gonna run a slant in front of
me.”
Brandon Browner: “Why don’t you say that a little louder? I don’t think they
heard you.”
Butler: “Don’t worry. I think they’re committed.”
Tom Cable: “Pete! Why are we lined up like we’re gonna pass?”
Carroll: “Wasn’t that sunset last night beautiful?”
Cable: “Bevell! Why are we lined up like we’re gonna…”
Wilson: “Set . . .Hut!”
Everyone not named
Carroll, Bevell, Wilson: “What the hell?”
Wilson: “Touchdown! Second Super Bowl ring! Here we go!”
Lockette: “I got thisOOOF!”
Astro Jetson: “Ruh roh!”
Butler: “No you don’t!”
Lynch: “Dammit.”
Unger: “Dammit.”
O Line: “Dammit.”
Baldwin: “IF WE RUN A PASS PLAY HERE WE SHOULD RUN
IT TO AN ELITE RECEIVER LIKE ME! I WAS READY TO DROP ANOTHER
DEUCE!”
On the sidelines, the stunned coaching staff confers.
Bevell: “Pete . . . you’re gonna take the heat for this. Right?”
Carroll: “Yeah . . . I’ll get my mommy blogger friend out in Pullman
to write some stuff about how everything is gonna be OK.”
Cable: “I’m gonna eat everything in sight. Gain 50 pounds. And
punch someone right in the damn mouth.”
Bevell: “Ricardo! How come you didn’t try harder to catch that
pass?”
Lockette: “WHAT?!”
Wilson: “Hey, Coach! What time does the plane leave? I can’t wait
to get home and study film to see what happened. Let’s meet at 4 a.m.!”
Carroll: “Win forever!”
FADE TO BLACK
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