Over the first two games, the Seahawks have converted 28 percent of their third downs. Not only is that 29th among 32 NFL teams, it's 10 percent less than in 2017, a year so unproductive that in the off-season, coach Pete Carroll trap-doored his top two offensive coaches and drafted a running back in the first round.

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Turns out Chris Carson did not retire at halftime of the Monday night game. Instead,  coach Pete Carroll admitted Tuesday that he mishandled the Seahawks' starting running back. Perhaps it was the football equivalent of losing a baseball pop-up in the lights. Monday night TV, and all.

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Looking at chances for the shorthanded Seahawks against the Bears Monday night, I was reminded of the trenchant mission assessment provided by Dan Aykroyd's character in a parallel bit of cinematic theater set in Chicago, The Blues Brothers.

"There's 106 miles to Chicago," Elwood told John Belushi's Jake as they sat in a car. "We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark out, and we're wearing sunglasses."

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For a game that 10th-ranked Washington seemed to control -- no easy feat with Salt Lake City's altitude and attitude in a sellout crowd at Rice-Eccles Stadium -- peril seemed perpetually imminent. Particularly after one of the most egregious turnovers in the four-year career of Jake Browning.

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The Seahawks' injury list grew this week to include LB Bobby Wagner (groin), who along with LB K.J. Wright (knee) and WR Doug Baldwin (ankle) will not play Monday night in  Chicago. Listed as doubtful after practice Saturday was rookie CB Tre Flowers, who started his first career game last week in Denver, as well as RG D.J. Fluker and reserve FS Delano Hill, all three with hamstring injuries.

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It's rarely a good sign when an NFL team's latest acquisition is addressed by a statement from the league office: “The matter is under review. He is currently permitted to sign and participate in activities including games.”

That's what happens when a team scavenges from the convicted-felons-awaiting-sentencing list for emergency hires.

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In a season of awkwardness -- sudden team achievement followed by even more abrupt ineptitude, a forced exit of Ichiro to purgatory, an 80-game suspension of Robinson Cano for PED use, a sex-harassment scandal in the front office, and an inability to improve a contending roster better at mid-season -- the Mariners did avert another ghastly moment that may have eclipsed all of those palms-over-face episodes.

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On the Seahawks' first scrimmage play at Denver Sunday, the Broncos got to QB Russell Wilson for the first of six sacks. The play was mostly forgotten in the subsequent litany of mistakes and misplays that cost the Seahawks a large road win. But I'm not sure that a first-play sack has happened in the Wilson era.

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As has been said around the Seahawks for years, they can't rely on Will Dissly to carry the team all the time.

Wait. Scratch that. Not even his University of Washington coach, Chris Petersen, said that about his tight end.

It was said about QB Russell Wilson. Was it ever true Sunday in Denver.

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For a 45-3 win (box) that included 632 yards, you can argue it's a stretch to say that the University of Washington's offense was often crappy. But that's because you were not present in person, nor in front of a screen, to see how the Huskies handled themselves Saturday against North Dakota, a program that is to big-time college football what Justin Bieber is to low-post play in basketball.

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Ahead of the Super Bowl in New York, I asked TE Zach Miller, in his third year as Seahawks tight end after four seasons with the Raiders, what made the Seahawks organization seem different than what he's seen and heard around the NFL.

"No politics," he said. "It's pure competition. Best man wins."

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Through a tumultuous off-season and a winless preseason, the Seahawks have tried to convince themselves and us that the 2017 season left merely scratches, not the dents, smoke and steam that seem fairly apparent. The franchise still runs, but with three away games in the first four, there's a hard road ahead for damaged goods.

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A blink heavy enough to make noise was audible around the Sound Wednesday, as well as throughout the NFL. Disgruntled FS Earl Thomas was back. He lost his staredown. His Seattle teammates, coaches, fans won back one of game's greatest defenders.

"He made me a better coach," said defensive coordinator Ken Norton Jr., grinning.

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Joining the Seattle Hockey Partners ownership group for the planned 2020 debut of the NHL expansion franchise were a couple of last names familiar to Seattle sports fans: Ackerley and Hanauer.

Sounders owner Adrian Hanauer, along with twin brothers Chris and Ted Ackerley, sons of former Sonics owner Barry Ackerley, were among seven local business executives added Wednesday as local principal owners in a group headed by Los Angeles-area majority owner David Bonderman and partner Jerry Bruckheimer.

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The Seahawks reached the 53-player limit on Saturday's mandatory cut-down day. They made a couple of small trades, acquiring a backup safety and a backup tight end, but didn't do anything drastic in response to their 0-4 fake-football record, such as paying FS Earl Thomas a billionty-billion dollars.

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By the time of the December reckoning for the 2018 college football season, the details of how Auburn beat Washington 21-16 (box) on Sept. 1 likely will be forgotten by the NCAA playoff committee members and bowl selectors. They won't be forgotten by Huskies coach Chris Petersen.

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Every school child knows that results of the NFL fake season are meaningless, except, of course, for the full price charged for tickets.  That's a real hurt.

Nevertheless . . . 0-4 is not a good look. Especially since the Seahawks have never been blanked before. Their first winless preseason, concluding with a banal 30-19 home loss to the Oakland Raiders Thursday night, will leave a stain requiring scrubbing.

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One of the more exotic charms in the often dubious world of college football is the chance to play foes from planets never previously encountered. Sort of like the long-running Star Trek franchise, where opponents vary from cute and fuzzy Tribbles (Idaho) to the omnipotent Q (Auburn).

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Beset by a suspension, injuries and age, and surrounded by a rejuvenated younger lineup, Sounders star Clint Dempsey, 35, announced Tuesday the end of one of the greatest careers in American soccer history. The three-time U.S. Soccer male athlete of the year, tied for the most goals by an American in international play, is retiring.

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In terms of scandal-o-rama, the NCAA is running a distant second to the Trump administration. But since part of the NCAA's mission includes seeing to the welfare of students, they shouldn't even be in the "also receiving votes" listing in a top-25 poll of American institutions.

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