Never having met a metaphor he could not twist beyond recognition, Art has been illuminating, agitating, amusing and annoying Puget Sound sports readers for a long time.
Along with Steve Rudman, he co-founded Sports Press Northwest because it didnt seem right that the Google monster should aggregate daily journalism into oblivion without at least a flesh wound from somebody.
Thiel and Rudman labored under the Seattle Post-Intelligencer globe until the print edition died an undeserved death in March, 2009. Art continued on at its online successor seattlepi.com while working on SPNWs creation. His radio commentaries can be heard Friday and Saturday mornings and Friday afternoon on KPLU-FM 88.9.
In 2003 he wrote the definitive book about the Seattle Mariners, Out of Left Field, which became a regional bestseller. In 2009, along with Rudman and KJR 950 afternoon host Mike Gastineau, Thiel authored The Great Book of Seattle Sports Lists, a cross between historylink.org and Mad Magazine that has become mandatory reading for any sports fan who has an indoor bathroom.
A graduate of Pacific Lutheran University as well as two dead papers and a live one, the News Tribune of Tacoma, he has become a fan of entrepreneurial online journalism because it allows him to continue a lifelong passion to take the English language to places it rarely visits willingly, and does not involve the cleaning of kennels or stables.
A no-hitter speaks for itself. Actually, it sings like Pavarotti. Mariners 3B Kyle Seager, however, spoke to the tastiest part of the moment.
"Sixteen strikeouts in one game and a no-hitter the next?" he said incredulously. "How does anybody do that?"
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Entertaining as they have been for five weeks, the Mariners, along with the Angels, Sunday demonstrated two things that were known at the outset of spring training: Starting pitching is the separator, and general manager Jerry Dipoto's professional lust for Japanese star Shohei Ohtani was not misplaced, even if his landing in MLB was.
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The release of DE Cliff Avril, long expected after his neck injury Oct. 1 kept him out for the rest of the season, came to pass Friday when the Seahawks said he failed his physical exam. With DE Michael Bennett, traded to Philadelphia, they formed one of the premier pass-rushing duos in team history.
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It sure beats driving away in the middle of night while telling no one, as did Ken Griffey Jr. did with the Mariners in 2010, ending unceremoniously his second tour of duty. But it was definitely not as poignant and dramatic as Marshawn Lynch tweeting a photo of his cleats hanging from a wire during the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl in 2016, symbolizing his retirement from the Seahawks (but not, as it turns out, from football).
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Now that star FS Earl Thomas is likely to be a Seahawk for the 2018 season -- the draft came and went with the Seahawks reportedly getting no better offer than a third-round pick in trade for him -- the question becomes: What does he want?
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After nearing the league lead in human interest stories from the draft, it's time for the football question: Are the Seahawks any better?
The short answer is yes. The longer answer is that, in a vastly improved NFC West, it's probably not enough.
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Never in my time in Seattle sports has the arrival of a pro athlete evoked a response sufficient to make its own weather. That's how I'm explaining the indoor rainfall on my face when I heard Shaquem Griffin was coming to playing football for the Seahawks.
I doubt I was the only one affected by a rain delay.
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The NFL draft's final day had seven selections for the Seahawks, and several intrigues beyond joining together the Griffin brothers in the biggest national human-interest story of the draft.
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The shadow of FS Earl Thomas on the Seahawks off-season has passed. Pete Carroll and John Schneider won't have to explain awkwardly how questionable personnel moves in 2017 forced them into trading a likely Hall of Fame player for a draft choice that wasn't even a first-rounder.
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Since every running back in their future will be compared to Marshawn Lynch, the Seahawks figured Thursday night in the first round of the NFL draft they may as well fire up the replicant machine.
Here's the key feat in understanding what Rashaad Penny does well that Lynch did best in his five superhero years in Seattle: Making something out of nothing.
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If you're scoring at home the eight Seahawks drafts of the Pete Carroll/John Schneider era -- and with the first round for draft No. 9 starting at 5 p.m. Thursday, who isn't? -- here's my scorecard for handy reference.
First three drafts: Good to great. The next five: Mediocre to poor -- with an asterisk that the most recent two classes lack enough playing time for fair judgment.
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To listen to John Schneider and Pete Carroll tell it, one of the reasons the Seahawks find themselves in a tumultuous offseason is that they permitted too many cooks to spoil the stew of recent NFL drafts.
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Erasmo Ramirez will make his first start of the season at 12:05 p.m. PT Sunday when the Mariners pursue a three-game sweep of the Rangers in Arlington, TX. But in a surprising move, the Mariners made roster room by sending down LF Guillermo Heredia to AAA Tacoma despite the fact that he's hitting .310 with two home runs.
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After all the high-profile personnel changes this off-season, the Seahawks figured to have taken a shot to the glams. But in the release of the 2018 NFL schedule Thursday, Seattle is booked for the maximum five prime-time games, including four of the season's final six. Apparently the TV networks want to see if the Seahawks most resemble "Lost," "The Apprentice" or "Game of Throwns."
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From a standpoint of spectacle last season, the Seahawks' 41-38 win Oct. 29 over the Houston Texans at the Clink was all Bourbon Street, Vegas strip and South Beach -- don't dare blink, or you'll miss something outlandish, voluptuous or ridiculous.
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Where does the long-tenured Seahawks fan rank the high draft selection last year of Malik McDowell? Ahead or behind Aaron Curry or Jerramy Stevens? Where is the pick in relation to Rick Mirer and Dan McGwire? How about Owen Gill? Or the first draft pick in the 1976 expansion season, Steve Niehaus?
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It's hard to make a claim that a starting pitcher with more than 2,500 major league innings can have a breakthrough moment in his 32nd year. But there was an episode in the sixth inning Sunday at Safeco when Felix Hernandez demonstrated some comfort with his elder professional self that the Mariners have been aching to see.
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On the surface, Thursday's news that the Seahawks passed on a chance to work out a player because of his politics looked to be one of the more astonishing developments of the off-season. And since that player was QB Colin Kaepernick, it's astonishing on another, purely football, level.
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In ways subtle and profound, Seattle pro sports just became better Wednesday.
The development won't make Ichiro younger or NFL penalty leader Germain Ifedi more mature. It will make the prospective NHL team more successful and will make Seattle more attractive to the NBA.
The best possible person to upgrade Seattle's sports future, Tod Leiweke, is back.
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In case you thought the feds were too busy investigating the White House, the FBI had enough depth Tuesday to bring fresh indictments against two more men's college basketball programs, Kansas and North Carolina State, in its continuing investigation of systematic bribery schemes steering players to certain schools that put money in the pockets of players from agents and sports apparel companies.
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