Gary Bell was born in 1936. George Kirby was born in 1998. Their career arcs as right-handed pro pitchers crossed Saturday afternoon in Seattle through the ethereal Pilots, a single-year sports wormhole that flawlessly connected flawed moments in major league baseball.

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The Mariners Saturday will be acknowledging, or commemorating -- "celebrating" doesn't seem quite the right word -- the 50th anniversary of the 1969 Seattle Pilots, the awkward runt of MLB that lasted a single season. Enough time has passed that the criminal ineptitude of the operation now seems more like a childhood prank on the order of stuffing Aunt Thusnelda's wig down the toilet.

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Since the Mariners pitching staff was, entering Sunday, 26th in MLB in strikeouts (561), next to last in earned run average (5.49) and WHIP (1.47), and last in batting average against (.274), it is understandable that general manager Jerry Dipoto senses a bit of a deficiency there.

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Finally, the Mariners have found something worse than their season. But it's hardly a good distraction.

The man who leads the American League in strikeouts desperately needed make solid contact Thursday. Instead, OF Mitch Haniger fouled a pitch into his groin and Friday was put on the 10-day injured list with a ruptured testicle.

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In a season that is tantamount to extended spring training, any game outcome or personnel development can't be considered large, because there is little incentive to care about either for 2019. Nevertheless, Sunday and Monday may be seen as benchmark days in the larger plan of general manager Jerry Dipoto to get the Mariners competitive before the polar ice caps melt.

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After the 13-2 aberration gave way to the Mariners' 2019 norm -- Sunday's 7-4 victory prevented a four-game sweep by Minnesota, but was just the fifth win in the past 19 games -- I felt a need to consult with the smartest people I know, the readers of Sportspress Northwest, who I hope also are susceptible to flattery as brazen as it is cheap.

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After some solid starts in his final year as a Mariner, Felix Hernandez is nearly at a full stop. The former ace, 1-4 with a 6.52 ERA and now the club's fifth starter, has a grade-one (lowest-level) lat strain and will miss four to six weeks, manager Scott Servais said Tuesday.

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The temptation is to say that the Mariners' 11-2 loss Sunday (box) in Boston that featured five fielding blunders in the first three innings and eight walks in eight innings, concluding a three-game Red Sox sweep by a 34-8 cumulative margin, and a 2-8 road trip with the 15th defeat in 19 games, was a milestone in ineptitude.

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Compared to Hurricane Maria that slammed his native Puerto Rico in 2017, any metaphorical whirlwind caused by Alex Cora's decision to shun the celebratory trip to White House Thursday for his defending World Series champion Red Sox is a trifle.

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The Seattle Mariners made the fewest errors in the major leagues in four seasons: 2005, 2003, 2001 and 1993. They made just 65 errors in that 2003 season, back when they had great outfielders Ichiro and Mike Cameron, plus C Dan Wilson, 1B John Olerud and 2B Brett Boone, the five of whom made just 17 errors combined.

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Ending the mystery of what Ichiro would do without baseball, the Mariners announced Tuesday that he won't be without baseball.

He's returning to the club as an instructor for the MLB and AAA Tacoma teams, focusing on what he did best in a likely Hall of Fame career -- fielding, baserunning and, in conjunction with the hitting coaches, batting.

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Not long after the Seahawks drafted big receiver D.K. Metcalf Friday night, bad news emerged about their smallest receiver. After multiple injuries and surgeries, Doug Baldwin's eight-year career may be over at 30.

ESPN.com's Adam Schefter reported, citing anonymous sources, that Baldwin, one of the best receivers in club history and a stalwart in the locker room and the community, is facing a decision about ending his career.

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What we know with high confidence regarding the 10-2 start to the 2019 Mariners season, best in club history and tops in MLB:

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The Mariners are doing it wrong. Starting the season with the best eight-game record in club history is backward. To paraphrase Tom Hanks' character in A League of Their Own, there's no winning in tanking.

The Mariners set out in 2019 to be bad in order to be good, someday. Mortifying as was the decision to back off being competitive, especially for fans 22 and under who have no real recall of a live baseball playoff game in Seattle, there was a certain logic trading away expensive yet serviceable players for the hope of more talented prospects.

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If you are puzzled about the Mariners' first week, imagine how it must be for the Red Sox. They came to Seattle as defending world champs, then stumbled out of town with pants below, well, their red socks. Had the Mariners not trotted out an injured reliever Friday night, Boston would have lost all four games.

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The flicker of momentum the Mariners displayed with three wins to begin the season took a double dousing in a single at-bat Friday against Boston. Closer Hunter Strickland, troubled by shoulder pain, gave up a game-winning, three-run pinch homer to Mitch Moreland, then found himself Saturday on the 10-day injured list after being diagnosed with a strained lat.

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As sweet introductions go, the Mariners' home opener Thursday was right up there with chocolate meeting peanut butter. Either that, or it's a step-back season for the world champion Boston Red Sox.

A team with zero expectations met a team with every expectation. So, of course, the Mariners won 12-4 (box) while blasting Chris Sale, one of the game's best pitchers. Big deals are not supposed to be made of such early anomalies. But since it happened during the home opener, caution and restraint are legally set aside for giddiness and whimsy.

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To the Mariners' more casual followers -- whose numbers grew exponentially after news that the club was taking a "step back" from their torrid 21st century pace of one playoff season per generation -- the easy assumption would be that the 2019 season has been given over to youngsters for development.

That view would be scored: E-fans.

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TOKYO -- He had left the field a while earlier. The fans stayed in Tokyo Dome, chanting his name: Ee-chi-ro! Ee-chi-ro!

It was past 11 pm.

Ichiro was talking to Seattle’s local media in the bullpen behind the clubhouse. Teammates attended the press conference, taking pictures and videos behind the reporters. A’s manager Bob Melvin, who managed the Mariners in 2003 and 2004, showed up after his own press conference.

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TOKYO -- Driving around Phoenix during spring training, I saw several advertising billboards with “Suzuki’’ posted dramatically (most of which represent a law firm). Interestingly, Ichiro Suzuki said he never saw those billboards. Then again, he also never had Suzuki printed on his Mariners jersey either, even though that is his last name.

Instead, he has always been referred to in Seattle as Ichiro – “Ee-Chee-Ro!’’ as the fans often shout -- which has been on his jersey since he started with the Mariners in 2001.

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