Huskies football coach Jimmy Lake enters the home of prized California high school five-star recruit Latissimus Dorsey.

Dorsey: Whatcha got for me, coach?

Lake: Serious Seattle bling. We have a new football video game, MadMax 2022, from Nintendo, which wants your exclusive endorsement. We have a paid internship from Microsoft in their G5 Deathstar program that won't require work except for you hosting its YouTube channel in the summer. And finally, we have an unlimited account for you at Seattle's most unaccountably downscale hipster joint, Dick's. Package's first-year value: $150,000.

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Only 42, new University of Washington football coach Jimmy Lake doesn't have a lot of room to talk about "back in the old days."

Nevertheless, during an update teleconference call this week with area reporters, he did. And said something perhaps unintentionally prophetic.

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A campus statue isn't likely to be part of Jim Lambright's football legacy at the University of Washington. Which doesn't mean he won't tower in the minds of players he coached for 24 years as a Huskies assistant coach and six years as head coach.

Besides, any statue won't be as stout as Lambo. Nor as purple.

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Given the resources and intensity the NFL brings to its annual scouting combine in Indianapolis, it is remarkable how many whiffs occur in the draft. But hey, that's the beauty of we humans -- much as we seek order, calm and predictability, sometimes the chosen people don't do the voodoo like you want them to.

Which brings us to Jacob Eason.

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During his eight-year tenure as Washington State's football coach, I never figured out Mike Leach. I don't feel too bad, since I don't think anyone else figured him out, either.

There's no denying his football success: A 36-36 conference record in Pullman is nearly like Danny DeVito leading the NBA in rebounding.

There's also no denying his eccentrism tended to exasperate and enervate.

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The first official act of Jimmy Lake as University of Washington head football coach was to fire two offensive assistants that he worked alongside Saturday at the Las Vegas Bowl, coordinator Bush Hamdan and tight ends coach Jordan Paopao, the Huskies announced in a statement Sunday afternoon.

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LAS VEGAS -- The Washington football team sure knows how to throw a farewell party. It was one thoughtful gift after another in Chris Petersen's final hour.

On a cool night in the Nevada desert, the Huskies presented their departing coach with an aggressive defense. They handed him an equally efficient offense. Everything came in a big box with a bow on top.

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The instant the matchup was revealed, the game was called the Chris Petersen Bowl. But that's not even the half of it. The less-than-epic Las Vegas Bowl Saturday (4:30 p.m., ABC) between the Washington Huskies and the Boise State Broncos should be called the Awkward Bowl.

You know, like when you're in the neighbor's tool shed, and he comes in and asks why you didn't seek permission. You would, um, rather be somewhere else.

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Given the facts that the Washington Huskies went 7-5 and are playing Saturday with a two-headed coach in a minor bowl, there's an argument that Wednesday's letter-of-intent day might have been their best day of 2019.

As opaque and mysterious is each class at every school, none of UW's 23 verbal commits bailed after the news that Chris Petersen was stepping down and Jimmy Lake was stepping up.

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The Washington Huskies placed five players on the Pac-12's All-Conference first team, four on the second team and three earned honorable mention, the league announced Tuesday. The five first-teamers tied Arizona State for second-most, and trailed league champion Utah, which had eight.

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The 7-5 Washington Huskies will play 12-1 Boise State, coach-in-exit Chris Petersen's former team, in the Las Vegas Bowl Dec. 21, and the 6-6 Washington State Cougars will play 10-2 Air Force in the Cheez-It Bowl in Phoenix Dec. 27.

A post-season Mountain West (Conference) Fest sure to thrill several people.

Meanwhile, the Pac-12 Conference, in accord with recent tradition, will be nowhere when it comes to deciding college football's national champion.

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Pete Carroll was asked a question Wednesday about whether he agreed with a national commenter who said the Seahawks seem to have more fun than any team in the NFL. Obviously, it's easy to have fun at 10-2, but the Seahawks coach has always understood a basic teaching principle that there's a direct correlation between enthusiasm and learning.

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Setting aside the matter of lush compensation, coaching big-time college football is the worst job in major sports. Among all jobs, it's a step shy of shoveling asphalt daily in a Georgia summer.

In fact, Chris Petersen is setting aside millions of dollars because coaching football is such a brutal experience. Even at his dream job at the University of Washington, where football in a big metropolitan area means, to his delight, "four million people don't even know football exists."

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Shocking all wearing purple, not to mention everyone else in college football, Chris Petersen is stepping down as University of Washington football coach, according to a statement from the school Monday morning. Athletics director Jen Cohen immediately appointed defensive coordinator Jimmy Lake to the permanent position as head coach.

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Normally sports history is written after the big game. Ever the iconoclast, Washington Huskies senior C Nick Harris decided to write history before the Apple Cup. He took out a Sharpie Thursday and, along the bottom of his game undershirt, wrote in big letters, "WE DON'T LOSE TO COUGS." He put an X through the final word.

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Costello had Abbott. Hardy had Laurel. Stimpy had Ren. Butthead had Beavis. Mrs. Doubtfire had Robin Williams.

Good comedy partnerships usually need a foil. The Apple Cup once had some of it when the Huskies' Don James was the period and the Cougars' Jim Walden was the exclamation point.

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Fans were clamoring for change. University of Washington players looked beaten down as the losses piled up. The coach tried to remain resolute as his Huskies football program tapered off, dropped five games in an uncharacteristic dip.

That aptly describes what's taking place right now in Montlake. It also applies to the 1988 season.

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This Huskies football season got away from coach Chris Petersen.

It's hard to say how or why, since media can't watch practice and the players are trained to avoid honesty in public. But the conclusion nevertheless is visible and inescapable, following Pac-12 Conference defeats to 4-6 Cal, 5-5 Stanford and 4-6 Colorado. The 20-14 loss Saturday to the Buffaloes in Boulder was a stark depiction of a team getting worse instead of better, with minimal excuses for injuries.

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On a Saturday wherein sixth-ranked Oregon fell to 5-5 Arizona State and Washington State gave up 29 points in less than 10 fourth-quarter minutes and still won, the Pac-12 Conference events on a cold, dry evening in Boulder, CO, may be little noted nor long remembered.

But that's only if you don't wear purple.

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If the Washington Huskies Huskies win Saturday at Colorado (7 p.m., ESPN) and Nov. 29 at home in the Apple Cup, both of which they will be favored to do, they will finish 8-4 overall and 5-4 in the Pac-12 Conference. They can make the argument they are the third-best team, since they beat USC, the only other contender for the auspicious claim of "We're No. 3."

Granted, given the league-wide mediocrity beyond Oregon and Utah, it's a little like being designated the world's tallest Corgi. Coaches like to call such a season "well-balanced," but we all know better, mm-kay?

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