“Charles Barkley” and “Speedo” are used in the same sentence. If that doesn’t make you shudder, I don’t know what will. Don’t be surprised if Brendan Ryan is seen playing pepper and shagging balls with local little leagues.
MLB: Mariners get more of the NL East: at Washington Tuesday-Thursday; Florida Friday-Sunday at Safeco (ROOT)
PREDICTION: Mariners moonwalk through the muddlers.
After taking the weekend series, 2-1, from MLBs winningest team, Philadelphia, the Mariners get the bottom feeders of the Phillies’ pathetically weak division, the Nationals in D.C., then back to play Marlins in a “road” series at Safeco because a U2 concert displaced the home team from its own stadium. Mariners infielder Brendan Ryan, born to do little aside from breathing baseball, spends the night in the dugout, wakes up early to line the field and offers pointers on the backhand lob to stadium peanut vendors.
MLS: Sounders v. New York Red Bulls, 7 p.m. Thursday, Qwest Field (ESPN2)
PREDICTION: New York over Sounders, 2-0
Freddy Montero may have scored off a free kick in the 90th minute of last weeks 1-0 win against Toronto, but still cant shake the Strikers are supposed to score, right? monkey off his back. This week, the Sounders look to avenge Marchs 1-0 loss to New York and extend their winning streak to five games. But Montero fails to score without having the ball teed up for him.
WNBA: Storm vs. Minnesota Lynx, 7 p.m. Friday, KeyArena
PREDICTION: Storm beat Lynx 89-74
This is the Storm’s second look at the revamped 2011 Lynx and their No. 1 draft pick Maya Moore, who beat them soundly earlier this month. During this meeting, however, the Storm decides not to spot Minnesota 25 points going into the fourth quarter. With a rally unnecessary, the Storm is discombobulated on Lauren Jackson’s bobblehead night. Confusion aside, the Storm hold off the Lynx, even with Moores 24 points.
NBA: Charles Barkley v. Dan Le Batard: When? Trust me. You dont wanna know.
PREDICTION: National Guard evacuates South Beach
And you thought the NBA Final series was tough, well, the worst is yet to come. TV commentator and former Phoenix Suns wrecking ball, Charles Barkley, had an NBA Finals bet going with Miami Herald sports writer and radio host Dan Le Batard that involved the loser wearing a Speedo swimsuit and providing an interview on South Beach. Other than letting you know that Le Batard lost, Ill let you do the rest of the research because Im beginning to feel a little ill.